Sexist Douche Pastor Mark Driscoll Believes Our Nation Is 'Pussified'

You might remember swaggering, misogynist evangedouche/human Affliction tee Mark Driscoll from being terrible on Glenn Beck, being terrible on Fox and Friends, or being terrible any time he does anything ever, which is all the time. But he's really ramped up the action in the last month or so! It seems like dude can't… » 7/30/14 5:00pm 14 minutes ago

Martha Stewart Has Her Own Drone and She Fucking Loves It

Martha Stewart got a drone for her birthday last year ("in Maine," she notes, Martha Stewart-ishly) and it turns out she just can't get enough droning. In a TIME op-ed titled "Why I Love My Drone," she explains why: Because it makes it way easier to craft a marzipan Peter Rabbit cake that's an exact replica of her… » 7/29/14 8:00pm Yesterday 8:00pm

Can You Change Your Race? 'Ethnic Plastic Surgery' Raises Big Questions

"Ethnic plastic surgery"—the practice of altering physical features supposedly typical of your race, to either erase them or to deliberately look like a member of a different race—sits squarely at the fraught intersection of bodily autonomy, racial politics, and oppressive beauty standards. It's nearly impossible to… » 7/29/14 6:30pm Yesterday 6:30pm

Brett Ratner's Hercules Is Bullshit and I Will Never Forgive Him

As much as I love him, Hercules is kind of a middling hero. He's not the strongest (that's Atlas), or the most cerebral (Odysseus, imo), or the #1 boner-inducer (Achilles, duh). He's just kind of...a guy. The big thing that makes Hercules great is his labors—the fact that he is just constantly going on quests and… » 7/25/14 5:45pm Friday 5:45pm

A Sharknado 'Actually Can Happen,' Says Shark Scientist Tara Reid

Oh man, I was just sitting here feeling all despairing about how the only thing I could find for a lede was that Snooki had a Great Gatsby-themed bridal/baby shower and I was trying to think of some jokes about, like, a ball pit only instead of balls it's shirts and a champagne fountain shaped like a wet diaper and a… » 7/24/14 8:00pm Thursday 8:00pm

American Apparel Flies Philly Bikini Barista to L.A. for Free Bikinis

Remember last week's story about the woman who was kicked out of a Philadelphia public swimming pool (and driven away via mockery at another) for wearing an American Apparel bikini that—to paraphrase Mel Horowitz—LOOKS LIKE UNDAH-WEAH? Well, there's a happy ending (I guess, if you like American Apparel bikinis),… » 7/24/14 6:45pm Thursday 6:45pm

New Fitness Bracelet Delivers Electric Shock if You Don't Work Out

Do you like jogging, but wish it was a little more like a Saw movie and/or dystopian nightmare in which thigh gaps have become the global currency? Well, today in horrible ideas: A new wearable fitness tracker that actually zaps users with an electric shock if they stop exercising will be hitting the market later this… » 7/24/14 5:45pm Thursday 5:45pm

'Designer Vaginas' Are Most Popular Among Women Between 18 and 24

Have you been feeling like you should probably pay someone to slice off part of your labia so you can conform to some 100% arbitrary "ideal crotch region" beauty standard that only matters to shitheads and 15-year-old boys whose entire understanding of sex comes from internet porn? Well, you're not alone! » 7/22/14 6:15pm 7/22/14 6:15pm

Jason Biggs on MH17 Tweet: 'Moving Forward, I Need to Not Be Stupid'

As you might remember, on the day the news broke about Malaysian Airlines Flight 17, the ever-sensitive Jason Biggs tweeted this timely and hilarious "joke": "Anyone wanna buy my Malaysian Airlines frequent flier miles?" To which the world responded: "AAASHFAHSKDJFHSALKDJRHWUIOGIUWPHKJNKJSHFKSJDFHLSK." In an interview… » 7/21/14 8:00pm 7/21/14 8:00pm

Woman Kicked Out of Philly Pool for Wearing American Apparel Bikini

A Philadelphia barista and water sports enthusiast says she was ridiculed by staff and, eventually, prevented from swimming at a public pool for wearing a swimsuit that looked like "a bra and panties." It was, in fact, an American Apparel bikini, which she demonstrated by letting a male employee pull out the waistband… » 7/18/14 7:00pm 7/18/14 7:00pm