Navajo Boy Sent Home on First Day of Kindergarten for Having Long Hair

Oh, cool. A devastating end to a shithead summer. Five-year-old Malachi Wilson, a member of the Navajo Nation, was sent home from his first day at a Texas kindergarten for having hair that was deemed "too long." Wilson's mother, April, says that her son was devastated by the encounter. And, seeing as Wilson keeps his… » 8/29/14 3:50pm Yesterday 3:50pm

Miranda July Invented a Messaging App that Makes Strangers Talk to You

Artist, writer, filmmaker, space faun, and great-eyeball-haver Miranda July has now joined the ranks of the tech bros with her new project "Somebody." It's a smartphone app that's part messaging service, part public performance art project, part social commentary on technology and isolation. You can get an idea of how… » 8/28/14 6:45pm Thursday 6:45pm

Fuck Santa! Kirk Cameron's New Movie Gives Baby Jesus His Birthday Back

Let me tell you guys my idea of a perfect Christmas. You wake up like it's any other day—it might not feel like December 25, it might even feel like, say, August 27—you go to work, you eat your sandwich, you shoulder life's banality with the resignation of a much older woman, and then...someone sends you a link. You… » 8/27/14 11:30pm Wednesday 11:30pm

Southwest Airlines Apologizes for Misplacing Elderly Woman

Eighty-five-year-old Alice Vaticano was supposed to be wheeled to the Southwest Airlines gate to catch her flight home to Denver, but instead a "processing error" left her stranded in a wheelchair in Newark for 11 hours. Vaticano, who is "sometimes forgetful," didn't know where she was, and had no choice but to sit… » 8/27/14 3:50pm Wednesday 3:50pm

Dear Prudence Doesn't Think You Should Bother Coming Out as Bisexual

Dear Prudie is just a troll, right? That's her thing? Like, that time when she attempted to "help" a "gluttonous" child (CHILD!!!) with a mocking animated video that depicted said child (CHILD!!!!!!!!) as a ghoulish pig-monster—she didn't really believe that that was a good, ethical, constructive thing to do, right? » 8/27/14 1:45pm Wednesday 1:45pm

Woman Attacked by Raccoon She Thought Was Her Cat

When I was a kid, we had two cats who came and went as they pleased via a cat door in our basement. Their names were Georgie and Gracie, which isn't really relevant to the story—I'm just mentioning it because RIP, MY SWEET LADIES—and we were confused because they seemed to be not only eating massive amounts of food,… » 8/26/14 9:50am Tuesday 9:50am

Chef Making Snake Soup Fatally Bitten by Decapitated Cobra

Today in DON'T FUCK WITH SNAKES, a chef in southern China died when a spitting cobra he was preparing to cook bit him on the hand...20 minutes after he decapitated it. Chef Peng Fan was making snake soup—a regional specialty made with spitting cobra meat, which reportedly has "spectacular health benefits"—and was… » 8/25/14 7:10pm Monday 7:10pm

90,000 Pounds of Tainted Chicken Caesar Salad Recalled from Sam's Club

Ladies. Please don't panic, please breathe, but there is a situation. It's salad. SALAD HAS BETRAYED US. Sam's Club has recalled more than 90,000 pounds of chicken caesar salad for possible listeria monocytogenes contamination—a bacteria that can cause "fever, muscle aches, headache, stiff neck, confusion, loss of… » 8/25/14 3:30pm Monday 3:30pm

Pastor Mark Driscoll Accused of Abuse and Intimidation by Ex-Employees

Twenty-one former Mars Hill Church employees have lodged charges against Senior Pastor (and church founder) Mark Driscoll, saying that he "engaged in a pattern of abusive and intimidating conduct and that he has not changed his domineering behavior." » 8/22/14 7:45pm 8/22/14 7:45pm

Other Uses for the Ice Bucket Challenge Halloween Costume

I've been studiously ignoring all sides of the Ice Bucket Challenge kerfuffle—if people want to be cold and wet when they donate money to charity, that's fine by me, but let's not pretend like these videos qualify as "entertainment," let alone "comedy"—however, I was intrigued today to come across the "Ice Bucket… » 8/22/14 4:20pm 8/22/14 4:20pm

New Scooby Doo Movie 'Curses' Daphne By Turning Her into a Fat Lady

Daphne from Scooby Doo—whose salient personality trait has always been "pretty"—wasn't exactly a progressive character to begin with, but Warner Bros. has really outdone themselves with the new straight-to-video Scooby-Doo! Frankencreepy. In it, Daphne gets on the wrong side of some ghoul or warlock and is transformed… » 8/21/14 7:45pm 8/21/14 7:45pm

Rich People Work Out to Lose Weight, Poor People Take Diet Pills

The relationship between poverty and weight is a vital yet often downplayed aspect of the "obesity epidemic." Poor people have less nutritious food in their neighborhood stores (if they have stores at all), less money to buy it, less time to cook it, and less access to preventive medical care. But the fact that… » 8/21/14 4:00pm 8/21/14 4:00pm